You Need Conflict

Couple-YellingLike it or not, conflict is a part of life. From as simple as rooting for different sports teams to the big issues of life, we all face conflict on a regular basis.

Some people run from conflict and try the “can’t we all just get along” approach. Others seem to thrive on conflict and often are at the center of creating it in any environment they find themselves. Most of us are somewhere in the middle.

Truth is, we need conflict. However, we also need unity and peace in our lives. So how do we live with a right perspective and handle on conflict?

Like most everything else, we begin with the motives of our heart. If our motives are right, then, even in disagreement, we can work through and learn in the conflict.

Too often we focus on who is right and wrong and look for the definitive lines of moral black and white to justify our stance and come out on top. The problem with this approach is it comes from a heart that is self-centered and seeking attention and advantage over others.

I have found that in most conflict between people there really isn’t a right and a wrong, there is just often differing opinions and perspectives. When we take the time to hear the other out and are willing to set aside our perspective long enough to hear theirs, we can find a healthy resolve. Resolve does not necessarily mean compromise or agreement as both on the same side, but it means that we find peace with the other and growth for both. We can walk away from a situation in peace and not be in complete agreement, retaining our differing opinions and perspectives.

Sometimes there is a clear cut defined right and wrong, but even then, there are two perspectives to consider and work through.

Let’s neither hide from conflict nor create it. Instead, let’s walk and live with a right heart and Godly motives. When conflict arises, we can address it head-on with grace and love.