The 14,000 word difference

couples-disagreeingIt is widely held that the average woman speaks 20,000 to 24,000 words a day while the average man speaks 7,000 to 10,000. It does explain a lot in the interrelationships of men and women.

I happen to have two daughters in middle school. I think their word count is closer to 40,000 a day each. When I pick them up in the afternoons, it seems that they each race to see who can hit their limit first as they share everything that went on that day and how they feel about it.

I’ll be completely honest, silence works for me. I like efficient conversations that have a defined result and conclusion. Left to my selfish instinct, I would get very annoyed and impatient with the conversations with my girls each day.

I have to make a choice, let their words wear me out and make me irritable or genuinely show interest in what they say and engage with them in the conversation. One is natural, one is not. One is comfortable, one is not. But, if I go with natural and comfortable I am missing something. That something is extremely important. When I blow them off and tune them out, I am missing a connection with my daughters that is priceless.

By engaging with them, I am building them up and strengthening our relationship in the everyday moments so that when the extreme and extraordinary moments come, we can walk them together. Because I love my daughters and want the absolute best for their lives, I must be willing to do my part to equip them and build them up for the future. My role in their lives is vital to their future emotional and spiritual health. I am responsible for what I do in regards to that.

So, I deal with the 14,000 word difference 3 ways (which equals a 42,000 word difference) each day with my wife and daughters because its matters and because it is what is right.

I am a pastor and I hold other titles and positions, but all of them fade away in comparison to my responsibility as husband and father. My family is my first ministry.

Ladies, recognize that the men in your life generally just aren’t going to verbalize as much as you do. Men recognize that the women in your life are going to verbalize a lot more than you, but you still need to engage with them intentionally and recognize the importance of those times. As we do, our relationships will grow and strengthen bringing meaning and fulfillment.